(come on, come on, come on, come on cone on)

It was on the good ship Venus

By Christ, ya shoulda seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

And the mast, a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger

He was a dirty bugger

He wasn't fit to shovel shit

From one place to another

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do

The captain's name was Morgan

By Christ, he was a gorgon

Ten times a day he'd stop and play

With his fuckin' organ

The first mate's name was Cooper

By Christ he was a trooper.

He jerked and jerked until he worked

Himself into a stupor

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do

The second mate was Andy

By Christ, he had a dandy

Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock

For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper

He stuffed his ass with broken glass

And circumcised the skipper

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do

The Captain's wife was Mabel

To fuck she was not able

So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits

Across the barroom table

The Captain had a daughter

Who fell in deep sea water

And by her squeals we knew the eels

Had found 'er sexual quarters